Freedom From Fear

I don't need to be free from fear.  Fear is just one more emotion, and at times it might direct a good course of action.  What I want is freedom from fear's control of my life.  One of the ways that cunning fear controls my life is to hide out from being fear.  When I know that I am acting out of fear, then I usually do the more transformative action.  But fear controls me by hiding out as righteous anger, acting in justice to right a wrong done to me or done to others that affect my sense of balance, or to take away the hurt that I feel from other's actions.  It is not that others have not done things that hurt me, or things that were unjust.  Stuff happens.  Fear makes me retaliate, get even, strike out, though I think I am justified.  What might I be afraid of?  Sadly, it is too often not getting my own way, my plans, and my ego for how things will go so much better if everyone would just do right by me, and make me more the center of the action.  This is all a fear of losing something, that in fact, might be worth losing as it often gets in my way of being a better person.  I so often ask God to "fix things" when the fixing needs to be me.  Whining is simply a stop along the way to this realization.  Do my readers have this problem or am I just more weird than yo'all.